| Random thoughts |
[Aug. 8th, 2007|12:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | work | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "play any track" | ] |
I need to be more organized. My labwork suffers because of it. Cleanliness and oganization helps with progress which recently for me has done little more than "boink." I need to streamline the workload. I've been getting stuff done, but I keep missing things because I don't keep track of everything as well as I should in my notebook (BAD CHEMIST, THAT'S A VERY BAD CHEMIST...NO!) Other than that, I'm doing alright, in the most "mas-o-menos" meaning of the word. I don't really want to complain about anything, though I could. But suffice to say I could be and have been better, but I'm not overly upset about anything. I've been feeling nostalgic recently and I think if I let go of that, things will move forward more readily. I'd really like to get some positive results in the lab, though. I'm so close with several of my projects. Time to focus! Alright, I think I've rambled enough. Bye for now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 3rd, 2007|01:15 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | from the Swarm...over and over and over... | ] |
So there's only one reason that I play attack of the swarm... I just got a 205. |
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| I live! |
[Jan. 11th, 2007|04:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Random Mp3 tunes, most of which I can sing along with! | ] |
I was perusing the internet as I am waiting for cells to grow in the lab. Do people still post here? I clicked on "update journal" and it brought up a draft of a previous journal entry that I never posted. It's probably best I didn't. It was another angry one. I'm not angry anymore, just confused as usual. Wishing chemistry/molecular biology would start working for me better. Hope to talk to *you* soon. Whoever you is. Latas!
Also, Burning Crusade Launch Party Evening of MLK day baby!
Jaquevanboom <-------huge dork |
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| It's never that bad... |
[Sep. 21st, 2006|11:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Zip-a-dee-doo-da | ] |
...is something my parents always told me when a news story would tell of a person taking his own life. I've never really felt that way and I hope I never do. I've been more sad and depressed in the past two weeks than I ever have been before. I can't really imagine being any lower. But I suppose there is always worse. Someone always has a bigger problem than "you" I'm sure my problems are really rather petty in the bigger scheme of things. But it's been happening for so long that it's all that I really think about. All of my recent posts have been mentioning it. Why doesn't anyone care for me more than being just a friend? I feel that it's a repeating theme that will never go away. "Whitney's such a nice guy...what a good friend...I would hate to lose you as a friend...I don't want to ruin our friendship...you're the nicest guy in the world" What the fuck? How can it be that such a "good friend" doesn't translate into anything more? If I'm wanted around as a friend *all the time* then why doesn't that translate into me being special to someone special. My family keeps saying things like, "Don't worry about it, it'll happen, you'll find someone and when it happens, you'll know." I'm thinking now that "sure, I'll know, but she'll just think I'm a really good friend to keep around to *talk* to about *things*." And then there's a glimmer of hope, and it turns into a rising sun of hope and then it turns out that sun was the headlight of a BIG FUCKING TRAIN. And it runs you over and makes you feel like never wanting to hope for anything ever again, because hope only leads to hurt. And then you think, maybe the train is gone and it was just blocking out the sun for a little bit, so you look to the horizon again....and you get hit with another train and you think, well maybe you should write a live journal post again. And you do, and you cry yourself to sleep. I care so much and try to show it, but it's just not wanted. Don't forget your optimistic face tomorrow, Whitney; it seems that people don't like it when you're sad. |
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| Tired but sleepy |
[Aug. 16th, 2006|01:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished and exhausted | ] |
Retribution...has launched. Hold on to your butts :-) |
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| On a lighter note... |
[May. 18th, 2006|05:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fifty Nifty United States (in my head) | ] |
Back to quiz stealing!
| You Are 53% American | 
Most times you are proud to be an American.
Though sometimes the good ole US of A makes you cringe
Still, you know there's no place better suited to be your home.
You love your freedom and no one's going to take it away from you! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 14th, 2006|01:41 am] |
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I've been thinking about going to see a psychiatrist of some sort. I think there's something wrong with me. There must be. One of my co-workers a few months ago suggested that I could be manic-depressive, the weird thing is, is that I actually think I am to some extent. I can be really up one day and then the next day...feel like killing all females. Today, I had such an emotionally painful day. I don't even really know why, nothing happened. I think I just thought myself into a mild depression. And before I started writing this post, I thought about all the good things people say about me. But there's something missing from that. I want to hear what my problems are. No one ever tells me about those. All I get is you're a good kid, good things will happen. I'm so fucking lonely out here. There's got to be a reason for that. There's gotta be something the fuck wrong with me. For the longest time, I was angry at the assholes, because they act like complete douchebags and get all the attention and attraction. Just recently I figured out that it will always be that way and instead of mad, I just got really sad. When did I get so fucked up? I always seem ok on the outside, but inside I think I may be depressed. Like I said...psychiatrist. I'm gonna go to bed. And perhaps cry some more. It's been such a long time since I cried...why am I doing it now? |
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| A few good men... |
[May. 7th, 2006|01:27 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissimistic...fuckemall | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
I'd like to ask for the assistance of my fellow brethren to help me to kill all the females. I think I'll call it a femacide. Then, after we have accomplished our goal. The rest of the populace will kill themselves due to a lack of female companionship, which is overrated due to their lack of sanity and human decency. Applications will be accepted over live journal. The eventual goal of this endeavor is to finally cure the earth of war, sadness and suffering by eradicating all the humans (starting with the girls). This is the only logical solution. Thank you for your time and attention. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 6th, 2006|02:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NONE | ] |
WORLD |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 6th, 2006|02:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NONE | ] |
THE |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 6th, 2006|02:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NONE | ] |
FUCK |
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| Why do I always write and clean when I'm angry? |
[May. 1st, 2006|09:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cranky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Comin' Back - Crystal Method | ] |
I'ma be the old guy in the club. You don't wanna be that guy. I guess I'm just usable, but at least I'm good at it. Hope the ladies don't run into *too* many assholes before they settle for a good guy. It hink I'm getting even more cynical....sweet. This pattern is getting old.
In other news, DIE ALLIANCE SCUM! |
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| tired as a mutha... |
[May. 1st, 2006|12:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm and tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Copacabana | ] |
I'm so tired right now. Saturday night, I went to "Maggot Fest" with some friends of mine. For those of you who have no idea what that is... (all my readers) let me enlighten you. Maggot Fest is a party here in Missoula that takes place after a two day long rugby tournament hosted in the city. At the fairgrounds after the last game...many many kegs of beer are available to chug for $10 all you can drink. But, it's not only all you can drink...oh no, it's all you can throw at and pour on people. Therefore, walking the 15 blocks home after that in soaking wet shirts and jeans reeking of cheap beer was interesting, but fun. Definitely going again next year :-P And that's all I'll say about that. In other news, I still don't understand females. I like them, but they're all insane. And everyone lived happily ever after. The end. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 25th, 2006|12:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bass from a neighbor >_ | ] |
Packin' fer Moab...4:30 in the morning is only 4 hours away....I'm the first driver. Here we gooooooo! Excited to be going on break! I'm hoping to get my hardcore relax on...But something's missing :-( |
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| HAPPY St. PATTY'S DAY!! |
[Mar. 18th, 2006|02:27 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cynical and tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
Just a reminder...
People suck, except for a select few....but perhaps it is really I that suck and I am projecting...being tipsy (rrrrrrt) makes one think...
P.S.
Miss you, babe. As I said before. |
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| hum.... |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|02:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | discontent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Random, right now something from FFX | ] |
+ got the power cable I needed for my computer
- something else doesn't work
+ got to go dancing tonight
- forgot to eat dinner
- didn't get to WoW because comp didn't want to get set up
+ I think I kicked my 4th and final Cume Exam's ass today
- ain't no phone call
- my room is trashed because of looking for disks for to making my new comp work
- laundry day tomorrow
- the girl I really like is far away
- girls out here suck, or are taken
- my friends out here are starting to grate :-( overdose I think
- people at the bars are assholes
Final Score: -7
It's official, I'm unhappy..sigh. |
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| Good things and busy times |
[Feb. 2nd, 2006|03:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | U2 - Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses? | ] |
Jacket Found!!! Whodathuunnk it?
Friend said a friend of her's was drunk that same night. Accidentally took the wrong jacket from the same bar I was. Then took it to another and left it there. I followed the leadd and it was fricken hanging up on the coat rack at this other bar....and everything was still in it. Howyalikethat?!!?? That's awesome. Fuck the world period will now cease. Sorry if your small country was taken over in my period of mad mad anger.
In other news, I'm so tired right now. They've been working me to the bone recently at school and Tuesdays and Thursdays I "get" to TA for the Chem Majors' Organic lab....from 5pm, until they're done. So that means I get to be here for 12 hours! Yay! Hopefully I'll still have time for sushi tonight. Later. |
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| fuck the world, and all the stupid, selfish people on it....part 2 |
[Jan. 28th, 2006|02:48 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
PS...if you ever want me to call you again... please send me an email with your phone number.
whitney.swain@umontana.edu
in case you can't tell, I'm a little pissed off on account of someone stole a leather jacket my grandad gave me and it had my cell phone in it...I'ma have ta choke a bitch if I see it walking around campus on some punk....bitch better recognize he'll have two fewer working legs when I get through with him. Anger ensues. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2006|02:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
FUCK THE WORLD. INSTATED IMMEDIATELY |
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shaftymolasses's journal
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